Monday, March 29, 2021
Sharing My Two Weird Dreams In The Past Week
Photo Credit: Cartoonstock
Hello Everyone!
I have had some really weird dreams in my lifetime. I have had dreams that range from making waste/fecal matter pancakes, hiding in a war torn high rise building in the Middle East, standing in a hallway talking to deceased family while a rainstorm was pouring buckets of water on my head through a gap in the roof, watching in terror as a tornado rips a big white building in half while I am in one end, to some end of world zombie apocalypse. In the past week, I have had two new weird and scary dreams. Usually, the dreams are more spread out between each occurrence. It is unusual to have two weird within the span of one week. I sometimes worry about my dreams since they can sometimes foretell ahead of a bad event. I believe that the two recent dreams are just some subconscious fear that I am not aware of on a conscious level. I do tend to Google dream interpretations in order to get an idea of what my dreams mean during my awake life.
I had a dream over the weekend where I am in a location that I do not recognize and with a woman that I also do not recognize. I was walking behind this woman and she was discussing the location and giving me a tour and giving me instructions. While she was in the middle of the tour, shots rang out and she was hit multiple times. She was peaceful, calm, and rather nonchalant noticing that she was even hit. It was almost like she was aloof about being fatally hit with bullets before she collapsed. I know part of it was shock and disbelief. However, she didn't raise her voice or show any panic whatsoever. I am standing over her in my own disbelief for a millisecond!! Thoughts were racing through my mind after the lady collapsed. Why was she shot? Were these bullets intended for someone else? Was it intended for me? Where is the gunman? Did the gunman now leave? I instantly dropped down to my knees and tried to crawl to a safe spot as fast as possible. In the dream, the scenario was rather dark in the beginning with some rays of light. When I was crawling, it felt like I was crawling towards a tunnel with a faint white light at the end. I then abruptly woke up and didn't get to see anything further in the dream. I felt relieved that it was only a dream. Even after looking up dream interpretations, I still cannot figure out what this dream meant at it's core.
I just woke up this morning to a second very interesting dream. A laundry list, for some damn reason, was typed up of all of my past lovers in my entire life. This past lover list was a very detailed with first and last names, nicknames, phone numbers, dates, relationship durations, and "field notes" on each relationship. This highly embarrassing and very salacious list was posted with my picture on the internet. I was contacted by a friend who had stumbled upon this distasteful list on the internet. I go to check out the list, I was absolutely mortified!! This list long and was inflated with names, data, and details that were not even true! Out of the entire dirty laundry, there was only a kernel of truth on the list! The worst part is that I was accused of some monstrosity of a whore house black list that I have not even been able to live out in real life! It made me look really ugly with my actions and I was bothered intensely by the published list of lies.
Do you know what was the worst part? I was mortified of the concept of my two sons discovering this embarrassing nugget of exaggerated filth!! I have made it my life mission to not openly parade men that I have dated in front of my sons. My sons grew up in a house where a man was only present if I believed the relationship was solid and heading towards long term or marriage. Never mind either of them ever catching the man in my bed while they were in the house!! There was a clear line in the sand with a heavy barbed wire boundary between my sons and any man I have dated. I have always firmly believed that my early dating life was super private and not meant for the eyes of my children. I became a widow very young. I didn't date men as a means to lure in a man to sustain myself. In hindsight, I should have gone that route. It would have made my life much easier...LOL. (I am kidding) I used to work 120/hours a week for a few years after my husband died to survive and keep my home. Getting myself to a clear, healthy, mental space to date as a widow was a quite challenge for a few years of my life.
Trying to even carve out time in my old hectic multi-job single mom schedule to date was rough back in the day. I must add that I am not a "prude" or a "nun" by any means either. However, I value myself as a good women who has been respectful with my reputation as a woman. This is especially true in the eyes of my sons. My good reputation as a woman is also very important to me within the construction industry. This is where my eldest son also works and my younger son may soon follow. I can't think of nothing worse than the thought of men on the jobsite teasing my sons via sharing dirty false rumors about me. That could be a reality if I had chosen to sleep with every man I had worked with over the years. I am very glad that I am not that kind of woman. I know humor sometimes can have no limits and can be created with great false exaggeration. I would like to think that this low, below the belt, brand of humor would not ever be displayed. However, I cannot rule it out as it would never ever happen. There are people that have no boundaries and would go very low for a laugh amongst the group. I would think you have gained an understanding as to why this dream was so wicked to me?
For the shooting dream, I looked up interpretations online in order to get a broad understanding. Based upon one source, this can mean that I am repressing some deep-seated anger towards someone. It goes on to speak on aggression and conflict in life. On the surface, I initially felt like I have no ax to grind against anyone. I then recalled that I had a brief encounter with a former manager who has managed pop up again along my path. This has caused some anxiety with illogical fear of a repetition of the past will occur in the future. The irony is if he had actually had his finger on the pulse and knew what I was actually doing back then, I could have been an asset to his team. He could have avoided suffering the future slaps to his reputation from upper management. It was a form of karma how laying me off in the middle of fixing open stuff bit him in the behind later on. Everything happens for a reason in life. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. This second encounter is meant to be as well. Not satisfied, I go on to seek more dream interpretation. Another source says that others will lean on you in the future. Yes, that is what others tend to do to me via different capacities over the years. I stumbled on another one more interpretation: "you may be worried about actions of the past and how these are your future". I am now certain that this dream was intended for this first and now second encounter that has just occurred. The good thing is the second encounter is in a different realm under a totally different set of circumstances. Despite that, I can't help but possibly be concerned on a subconscious level about the potential outcome. It seems like I have figured out the life application of the shooting dream. Let's take a look at the second dream.
This dream involved a long drawn out exaggeration of my personal life. I was thinking about it, in the big scheme of things, what is the big deal? I am an insignificant person in a sea of billions and billions of other people on the planet. When I went to type it out paraphrasing my dream, not much popped up. When I altered it to public humiliation, I got a hit. At the end of the day, that action is intended to publicly humiliate a person. According to dream interpretation, public humiliation lends to feelings of being ill-prepared, incompetent, or deserving of shame. It can mirror a real life situation or fears a person may have. An interpretation speaks on public humiliation as bringing on embarrassment as bringing to light a person's hidden weaknesses. The source goes on to give scenarios such as: embarrassing situations, being laughed at, feeling inept, and going through uncertain areas such as new training, new relationship, or getting to know someone better but feeling like you are not really on top of your life.
Of the scenarios listed, the one that sticks out is new training. I like to be prepared in all situations. For goodness sake, I keep an overnight bag in my car, jackets, blankets, food & water, an other items so I am always prepared. I just finished my own self training and exams for some safety credentials. I have managed to earn a new title as a Safety Manager. Despite putting in all of the work, you will always have subconscious doubts on your abilities to handle different situations. The key is to put your best foot forward, always be willing to learn, don't get rattled and think logically, and make sound decisions from there. In this business, I have ran into plenty of people who fake their confidence and really do not know anything. They learn along the way like anyone else. In conclusion, I believe that this dream was a subconscious fear of entering a new world and not being prepared. The lack of preparedness results in some catastrophe that leads to some fatality and me being put in jail for the rest of my life. That is the worst possible scenario that one could have. Come to think of it, I am really good at "the sky is falling" scenarios. It is amazing how much I worry while others don't care about much. A balance between being conscientious and level headed is needed.
Let me know what you think about this dream or the previous one? Which one is better? Which one is worse? Do you have as odd of dreams as I've been having? Perhaps my subconscious is acting up way more than usual lately? My deep down fears are bubbling like a pot of hot water to the point of manifesting regular dreams as of late. If you have some dream interpretation to share that has not been shared above? I would appreciate the input. As always, I thank you for taking the time to stop by my blog and website. You have many options and I am honored that you have chosen my content. Despite it being a Monday, I wish you a great day and the rest of the work week!
Cheers!
Leslie M. Jasper
-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Spotify, YouTube, and Soundcloud
-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Anchor, Breaker, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify
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