Pondering The Impact Of Consistent Vs Occasional Communication

Be Kind To Your Friend & Share A Beer. You never know what they are going through. Hello Everyone, I am sharing a question (guess where?) where the person asks about another person's communication style. The person posing the question is trying to figure out why the person is returning later in life. It makes sense to question a person's motives for returning. I would wonder if they are coming back to borrow a cup of sugar or my lawn mower. All joking aside, I don't hold a grudge on anyone from the past reaching out to check in. After all, life takes us on many rides. We all have different experiences that pulls away a lot of time. Depending on where we are in the life cycle, that is an indicator as to how much spare time is available. When I was raising my sons, I was focused on them and not so much a social life. I felt like my day was consumed with work and managing my household. Any of my friends who are parents totally get what this grind is like. I have friends who don't have children yet are very productive. I hear from them from time to time when time permits. We will then spend hours catching up and I may not hear from then again for awhile. I am happy that Facebook exists so that I can loosely keep up on friends and family in a quick, lazy way. I totally fine with my periodic check-in with people. I am sad that people have an ax to grind about not being consistent with reaching out. If I have someone upset with me about my blocks of hibernation, I have honestly never thought about it before. For many years, I was a workaholic and I was never a person to have a ton of friends. I am sure my method of avoidance has helped me to avert problems with friends. :P I can't think of a single person who I am annoyed with about their lack of communication. It is definitely a subject to think about. Read the question and my response below: POSED QUESTION: "Why do people who ignore you / never reply to texts as a teenager come back years later and then show effort? Like why now you clearly never cared before?" MY RESPONSE: "I am not sure if this is a male or female that you are referring to as the person coming back into your life. Therefore, I will try to look at both sides of the coin. There are a million reasons why people behave the way they do. There are many factors that come into play. You might get a straight answer if you ask. Sadly, it is possible that they may have overlooked your good qualities in high school and it took evolving into an adult to attempt a second shot at developing a relationship. Some people may get wrapped up in the stress of their first job in high school, test taking for colleges, first loves, and the planning of leaving the nest and becoming an adult. There is a huge shift in available time & responsibilities between going to high school and then entering adulthood. A young person has to figure out how to juggle college, work, boyfriend/ girlfriend relationships, paying rent, and having children somewhere along the way. The stress of becoming an adult may impact a person dramatically. It may cause them to shut down and isolate. It is possible that the person more than likely didn’t have the bandwidth to manage much more than daily life in the early stages of adulthood. If that is the case, it is their own personal issues that have nothing to do with you and all to do with them. Maybe they found their groove, got used to life, and found time to get back in touch with you. I know of quite a few women and men who get wrapped up in relationships and end up isolating themselves. Upon a break-up later on, the person realizes that they are now lonely and seek out old friends to re-connect. Those are mistakes many people make. I have plenty of friends who I have disconnected with over the years. We connect and spend quite a few hours re-connecting. I look at it like the phone rings both ways. If we both got tied up with life and lost touch, it is no big deal to catch up. I would only feel some kind of way if they show up asking for money and immediately wanting favors for them. It doesn’t take long to figure out someone’s intention. If you feel like you can’t look past a broken connection from high school, it is totally understandable and your right to do so. However, sometimes what wasn’t meant to be before ends up working out better later in life. Most people become more mature as they get older. Life can sure show up so I begrudge no one from going off the grid. Only you know what the right decision is to make. I have mapped out some scenarios for you to consider while you kick the tires and make your decision. I wish you luck!" -Leslie's Thoughts Now that you have read it, how is your style of communication with your friends and family? Do you have any family members or friends irritated with your lack of consistency? Do you have people that frustrate you with their communication style? Has your perception of a friend's thoughts and feelings ruined a friendship? On the other hand, has your life struggles pushed you into hibernation? Has your hibernation, as a coping mechanism, pushed someone else away in the process? I know we don't always disclose what is going on our lives to others. Those matters are private, can be embarrassing, and too overwhelming to share. This is why people should show others grace and be forgiving of their shortcomings. They have no idea of the battle that they are currently facing. As always, I thank you for peeping my content here. You have many options and choices in this vast plane called the internet. I hope you are smiling and having a good day wherever you are in the globe. Please stop by the Verbally Disastrous YouTube channel and hit the subscribe button. Let me know what ya think about the posed question and response? Any suggestions for future topics? Let me know and I will consider it. I wish you a good Tuesday on your side of the globe. Peace out, cub scout! Cheers! Leslie M. Jasper -Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on many platforms that include: Acast, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Soundtrap, Spotify, Stitcher, Tune In, and YouTube. -The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. 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